Как придумали французский язык: - А давайте половина...

How did you come up with the French language:
 - And let's half the letters will be read dick knows how, and half will not be at all! -
Do not forget the sticks on top
How did you come up with the English language:
- Come on, there will be few letters, they are all simple, but let the vowels be read as horrible.
- And so that the meaning of the word changes unpredictably depending on the prepositions and social status of the speaker / writer!
How did you come up with the Italian language:
- And let's all the words will end in vowels!
- And wave your hands. And it's hot.
Spanish language:
- And let's have fun with the Italian language!
Russian language:
- And let's write the words in random order, and convey the meaning in intonations!
- Do not forget prefixes and suffixes!
Bulgarian language:
- And let's have fun over the Russian language!
- Exactly! We will talk like Russian children.
Polish language:
- And let's speak in Slavic, but according to sub-European rules?
German:
“Why do we need spaces?”
- Add letters!
Chinese:
- And let's use the sounds of nature instead of words!
- Look what kind of kalyak-malyaku I painted. Here, as it were, the Sun, here the bulls plow the Earth. Let it mean a table!
Japanese language:
- And let's say all the sounds with one intonation?
“Like a dog barking.” To make everyone afraid!