Пил я как-то со своим корешем Сеней, и...

I once drank with my sidekick Senya, and there was such a conversation about money and women. We drank in a tavern, drank whiskey and in large quantities. I am divorced, and Senya is not married, and in the middle of the meeting there was a candidate for his self-friend. I grinned right away, because I felt "golden youth" per kilometer. And did not lose. The girl's name was Olga, and on the move the conversation ran into boutique rags. Then the income of the boyfriends went, and the Senins 1200 bucks a month turned out to be not money, and the "nine" was not a machine. Senya was already drunk in a hollow and had little idea what his half was carrying. I started up, and if there were a man in her place, then he would already be collecting teeth from the floor. To thump at someone else’s expense (cocktails of 300 p., By the way) and drive to the owner of the table (and also criticize his wallet!) Is rudeness. I immediately remembered the incident ... Once we had a drink with Senya in Tsaritsino, in the park, on the besnik of our friend Kot. There was beer from the eggplant, and sausages from the tent by the subway, we had not worked yet. No tavern and whiskey. And the left man, who drove to Kota, the owner of the table, was a bit, despite the large dimensions. There are things you can’t do! And Olga drives and drives. Further:
Me: And who do you work at all?
O. (proudly): I am a financial advisor. (Who doesn’t know, these are people who give advice on business. In Russia, these are people who sell Pontus! But they are also called girls from the accounting department, who are nothing at all.)
Me: But for some reason we are all about money ...
A .: Well ... This is objective! Finance is a reflection of life! The most real!
Me: and human relations? .. But people say ...
O. (sarcastically): Yes, I heard! Only for some reason, these poor people usually!
I could quote Rostild’s phrase “Diamonds cannot be eaten!”, I could tell about the Onasis family, whose wealth brought suicide to all its young members, and a dozen more such examples. But the advantage of such people is that they do not think. They accept concepts that are spinning in their midst, but cannot think independently. They need shock therapy.
Me: Listen, how much do you need per month for peace of mind from your boyfriend. If real, not a white Mercedes and an island in Hawaii.
A .: Well ... in the pocket of bucks 700
I (take a napkin and pen, plant 150 whiskeys clean. Before that, we interfered with Coke): Well, let's do a financial analysis.
So:
Direct costs - 700 bucks
Indirect costs -?
A .: What are these? (A financial consultant who does not distinguish between direct and indirect costs is like a punk who does not know who Sid Vishez is)
I: Well ... Your mobile, the gasoline of your car (O.'s eyes are dreamily clouding. I’d like to rudely ask “What, haven’t you pumped a car yet? Don’t despair, everything is ahead!”, But I’m holding back), expensive clothes 700, rent, food ...
A .: Well, another three hundred ...
I'm already:
Direct costs - 700 bucks
Indirect costs - 300 bucks
Total 1000 e. Per month.
Price 1000
What will the boyfriend get for the money?
O. (coquettishly touching): Me ...
I (150 more): This is not a market formulation, you are a financial adviser! What exactly?
O .: (more coquettish) Sex ...
Me (another 100): How many times?
O. (surprised): as much as he can!
Me: That is, your head does not hurt, you are not in the mood, etc.? ..
O. (finally felt a catch. Late, my girl! I’m Finnish. I eat cons for breakfast!): Well ...
I (decisively): that means, on average, 15 times, given various circumstances. Wash, cook, clean the hut?
O .: Am I like a collective farmer ?! He will find a housekeeper! (in an amicable way, the housekeeper needs to be borne in costs, but she has already driven herself into a trap, I did not bother.)
Me: Total: 15 times. For 1000 bucks. Terms of use - sharing. The price is clear. Now let's evaluate the market situation. 2 hours of work of a prostitute cost $ 60.
A .: What am I, at the level of AVERAGE prostitute !?
Me: What did you think? It just seems like a prostitute is paid for looks. Actually pay for the range of services. This is a service market! The price increase is determined by the breadth of the set of services with approximately equal quality of all market participants (a terribly distorted phrase from some textbook. Nothing, it was enough!). Are you ready for anal sex, lesbostrip, sadomaso, role-playing games? You do not believe it - go to any site and check out what you can get for 150, and what for 300. The prices there are somewhat overpriced, but the overall picture is pretty accurate. So the competition has already eaten you! For $ 900 on average, your boyfriend will receive the same 15 times, but with different women. He does not need to settle them with him, listen to their mood, put up with their glitches ... He does not need to entertain them, they just do their job and leave ... So I'm sorry, Olenka, you just do not fit the market. You have yet to find your price niche.
I thought I would slap a slap in the face now. And he had already decided that I would catch my hand and squeeze harder, so that it would be disastrous. It was not I who began this conversation, and it was not I who began to lower my interlocutors. But instead, she got squeezed and decided to cry. Having seen these preparations, I decided that in this case not everything is lost.
I (crumpling a napkin and setting it on fire in an ashtray): So remember, girl