Прочитала в интернете - посмеялась от души! Блин,...

I read it on the Internet - I laughed heartily!

Damn, comrades, I've been married to this man for sixteen years, but I just can't get used to it. Every time, like the first.
So we go to the store with him, buy everything, a lot. The husband personally chooses two lemons from a heap of lemon, personally drags them to the checkout, pays with his own hand and puts them in a bag. The package, not trusting anyone, drags it into the car, brings it home. Then I step in - I put the lemons in the refrigerator and with a sense of accomplished marital duty I go to change into pajamas and a bathrobe. I return, fall on the sofa and hear:

- Nika, didn't we buy lemons? - so puzzled.
- We bought it.
- And brought home?
- Brought.
- Where are they?
- In the refrigerator door.
The door opens, the man studies two large, dazzling yellow lemons for a long time. Lemons lie quietly in the door shelf, exactly in the center and politely study the man. Ten minutes pass.
- Where ???? - says the man without taking his eyes off the lemons.
- In the door. I say sarcastically, but still calmly.
The lemon door is studied for another ten minutes, very carefully. Lemons wither and think bad about the man. The man starts to boil: - NIKA !!! Where are the lemons?
- In the door. - very poisonous.
- In which door ?! - the husband retorts and turns blue.
- In the refrigerator door.
- In what door, that you are fooling my head, you don’t remember where you put it, say so! - the husband shakes the refrigerator door like a lemon tree, the lemons are very unhappy, but they hold on firmly, like Pavka Korchagin. - Nika, the last time I ask, where are the lemons? !!!
- In "mate is prohibited on the forum." - I can't stand it.
- Yes? - the husband is amazed.
- Yes. I say firmly. - In the door.
- Are you kidding?! Will you tell me today where you put the lemons ?! -the man is close to a heart attack, lemons laugh hysterically.
- I put the lemons in the refrigerator door.
- Get up immediately and show me where this historic place is! - very maliciously.
- If I get up and find these lemons where I put them, do you know where I will put them ?! Both. I warn viciously. I got warm on the couch and I really don't want to get up. Especially because of some blind asshole.
- Yeah, come on, put it where you want, I agree. Only first find them. '' Again, very maliciously, putting his hands on his hips. I sigh, get up, open the door, the lemons desperately sympathize with me - with whom I have to live - I take out one lemon, turn to my husband and politely ask: - Would you like to shove it in now or will you drink some tea?
The man resembles a deflated and very sad balloon.
“Ehmmm,” he babbles lost. - Why did you put dill on lemons? Of course I didn't notice them!

Out of anger, I really want to shove it, purely in order to improve my vision, so I go into the shower away from sin.
I go out warm and happy. I fall onto the sofa. And I heard: - Nika, did we buy coffee?
A guy stands in front of an open kitchen cabinet, in which we always keep coffee. The doors are open, the man is pensively examining a can of coffee, standing in his usual place that has not been changed for many years. The coffee can whinnies hysterically.
I sit on the couch, wash down the eclairs with beer and angrily think about whether the can of coffee will fit my husband where I really want to shove it.