"В столовой на столе горел длинный ряд розовых...

"A long row of pink candles burned on the table in the dining room. Even on the stairs, Bart whispered to me that his ninety-year-old grandmother, well-preserved, perhaps even somewhat eccentric, was having dinner with everyone. I understood this as an invitation not to be surprised at anything, but did not have time to answer, as the time has come to get to know the inhabitants of the house. ”Besides the three children I already know, and Madame Barthes, I saw an old woman sitting in a carved armchair - the same one as in the study upstairs - dressed in all purple, like a bishop. diamonds old-fashioned lorgnette; her little black, like shiny pebbles, eyes stuck into me. With an energetic gesture she gave me her hand - raised it so high that I had to kiss my hand, which I never do, and in an unexpectedly strong, masculine voice, as if belonging to another to a person - as if in a poorly voiced film, she said:
- So you are an astronaut? I haven’t had dinner with an astronaut yet.
Even Bart was surprised. His wife explained that the children had told my grandmother about me. The old woman told me to sit down next to me and speak loudly, because she is hard of hearing. Near her device lay a hearing aid that looked like two beans - for some reason she did not use it.
- You will entertain me with conversation. I don’t think I will have such an opportunity soon. Tell us how the Earth actually looks from there, from above. I don't believe in photos!
“That's right,” I said, serving her salad; it made me happy that she took me so unceremoniously. - No photographs can convey this, especially if the orbit is low, because the Earth then replaces the sky! It becomes the sky. It does not obscure it, but becomes it. This gives the impression.
- Is it really that beautiful? Doubt sounded in her voice.
- I like it. The strongest impression is that the Earth is so deserted. There are no cities, no roads, no ports to be seen - nothing, only oceans, continents and clouds. However, the oceans and continents are about the same as on school maps. But the clouds ... turned out to be very strange, maybe because they do not look like clouds.
- What do they look like?
- It depends on the altitude of the orbit. From a great distance, they resemble a very old, wrinkled rhinoceros hide, so bluish gray, cracked. And up close they look like a variegated sheep's wool, combed with combs.
- Have you been to the moon?
- No Unfortunately.
I braced myself for further questions about space, but she suddenly changed the subject.
- In French you speak quite fluently, although somehow strange. Sometimes you use the wrong words ... Are you from Canada?
- My parents are from there. And I was born already in the States.
- You see. Is your mother French?
- Yes, by origin.
I saw Bart and his wife glancing at the old lady, as if trying to temper her curiosity, but she did not pay attention to it.
- Did your mother speak French to you?
- Yes.
- Your name is John. But she must have called you Jean.
- Yes.
- Then I will call you that. Be so kind as to get the asparagus away from me. I can't eat it. The essence of old age, Monsieur Jean, is that you gain experience that cannot be used. And so they, she pointed out to the others, are right that they don't take me into account. You don't know anything about this, but there is a big difference between seventy and ninety years. Principled, - she emphasized and fell silent, starting to eat. She revived only when the plates were changed.
- How many times have you been in space?
- Twice. But I didn't fly far from Earth. If you compare it with an apple, then by the thickness of the skin.
- Are you a humble person?
- Rather, on the contrary.
It was a rather strange conversation; I cannot say that she was disagreeable to me - the old lady had some special charm. Therefore, I reacted to the continuation of the interrogation without irritation.
- Do you think that women should fly into space?
- Somehow I didn't think about it, - I answered completely sincerely. If they want, why not?
- You have there, in the States, the hotbed of this crazy movement - women's liberation [the liberation of women]. It's childish, it's vulgar, but at least it's convenient.
- You think? Why is it convenient?
- It is convenient to know who is to blame. According to these ladies, they are men. These ladies believe that only women are able to bring order to the world, and they strive to take your places. And while this is absurd, they have a clear purpose and you have nothing. "

Excerpt from the novel "Runny nose". Stanislav Lem.