М.Задорнов Наши у них Только наши туристы за...

M. Zadornov
Ours with them
Only our tourists for
abroad forget the number
your room at the hotel. AND
then they start poking
guest card in locks
all numbers, checking to
which one is suitable.
Only our women are for
border in hotels before
the arrival of the cleaning lady
tidy up in their
number and the question of her husband
"What are you doing?"
answer: "Now
the cleaning lady will come, but with us
not tidied up. Uncomfortable
somehow! What is she about us
think Russian? ”
(One Russian woman,
remember complained
to her friend that her
robbed and she is very
upset because u
she was not tidied up
apartment).
Only our tourists
after being accepted
shower don't switch it
back to the tap. Therefore,
when the cleaning lady comes
housekeeping and includes
water, her head right away
shower water.
Only ours can be
distinguish from border
the rest as follows
signs:
• All Russian women
round the clock gold
catkins in the ears;
• Men passing
past any shop window
look at their
reflection, or rather - on
belly: too much
outstanding? Or can
still pivasika embed?
• In strip bars
fall asleep already on the second
dance
• barking at dogs;
• Lying on the beach
charred and bathed in
the sea at any
temperature and day and
at night.
(In Spain, the guard
lifeguard approached
to our stripping
tourist on the shore and
reminded him that
swim at night with them
forbidden - in the dark
very dangerous! Ours started
download rights, they say, why
is it suddenly dangerous?
The guard asked again:
“What are you from Russia?” -
"Yes!" “Then swim.”
Russian is possible. Russian
not dangerous").
Only Russian men in
elevators frankly
stare at
women of all
nationalities.
Men from
politically correct countries
afraid intently
look at a woman
more than 30-40 seconds. May
bring to court for
sexual
harassment.
(Thank God, ours before such
relations between
men and women
not matured. We have
vice versa: if a man on
the woman in the elevator is not
look she
upset and yet
will begin to flirt
attention to oneself
attract).
Only Russians for
border in eateries
like ours
self-know
how can you not pay for
cutlet: you need it before
cash desk cover
lettuce leaf or
generally eat standing in
queues before reaching
box office.
(Many abroad
noticed that our
very fast and not bad
they think. Gidsha in
Singapore in front of the group
Russian tourists in
the bus boasted
Ferris wheel: they say
it is designed and
delivered by fairies -
always rotates on
the sun!
In the back seat
kid about 12 years old. I looked
out the window and muttered: "This
fool tried on him with
other side
watch?")
Only ours in all
countries are moving
street at red light.
(Sent our letter
Kazakh German who
now lives in Germany.
Tells how he stood
with a crowd of Germans and waited
when the red light
will switch to
green. Traffic light clearly
spoiled, no cars
was but the Germans
kept waiting
switching. He is everything
understood nervous but
go alone through
the road was embarrassing. All of a sudden
heard from behind behind
in pure Russian: “Yes, in
mouth to your feet! ” Looks:
our man
by leaps and bounds,
not embarrassed by the Germans,
went to the other side.
And then she followed him
the whole crowd. Man
stopped on the sidewalk
turned around, spat and
muttered quite
loudly: "Yes, damn it, hard
you without the Fuhrer
living! ”)
And yet only ours are not
can sleep in star
hotels
in a western manner
the beds. And does not matter,
king bed or
queen size. The main thing is that
annoying ours is
widescreen
blanket-blanket
which is a local house-
keeping plugs deep
all around the edges
beds in the gap between
mattress and wooden
box. Aliens with their
ability to live by
instructions creep into
this "envelope" and
sleep quietly all night
flattened, not
moving down. because
what's so customary
supposed to. Ours, if
try at first
fall asleep in such
"Converter", they have
it turns out no longer
twenty to thirty
seconds. Well, ours cannot
man with his
endless soul
fall asleep without moving! At
him feeling that his
soul flattened himself
he turned into something
the average between the mummy and
the person by whom
drove asphalt
rink. In a minute
ours begins to commit