Однажды я гулял по лесу, вижу колодец. Подхожу...

Once I walked through the woods, I see a well. I go up to him, go into the elevator, sit on the bike, start a motorcycle, then bam, the conductor approaches me and says: `` Uncle, give way. '' And I say that I do not smoke. So this child will begin to cry! But I was not taken aback, and how I gave him a mug, and he grabs his knee and shouts: `` My back! My back!''. I get out of this train, look, the minibus is standing. Well, I come up and say: `` Winston is blue and vodka is 0.5 ''. Well, she gives me Bond and beer. I take this prima and moonshine, and run away from these garbage! So these firemen caught me in an ambulance! Caught up and say: '' You forgot the change! ''. Well, I take a kilogram of apples, and go to the market to trade. I bring it, I did not have time to lay out these bananas, then the grandmother runs up and buys all the peaches from me, and says that he put everything in a fist! And I think that she’s completely sick, how can I put 20 watermelons in her bag ?! I took the money and went home! I didn’t go to the forest anymore ... and didn’t touch the mushrooms ... I even quit smoking.