Одиночество – коренной житель просто любого города. И...

Loneliness is a native inhabitant of just any city. And the bigger the city, the more loneliness in it .... It staggers in the spring evenings, touching with its spread out hands the already ragged walls of the semi-provincial, smiling streets. Or bask in the summer twilight with the blue light of a fashion brand somewhere at the crossroads of central streets, among indifferent passers-by, plastic tables, beer fun and mosquitoes. Loneliness conscientious clerk until the last lingers on his beloved job. Beloved - because there must be at least one decent justification for their own existence. Although over time, making excuses for yourself becomes more and more difficult. Loneliness is free in choosing your goals and plans for the evening. And who can stop him? The difference is only in the place and composition of the participants of the next far-fetched holiday. Alternatively, you can stay at home. But loneliness, multiplied by itself, throws out interesting things - in a couple of days you start to like it, in a week - you don’t consciously want to go nowhere, and after a month - acquaintances are surprised to hear your voice on the phone, and don’t even ask where they disappeared, meaning that if you don’t call, then life is getting better. Not so wrong. Being alone with yourself for a long time, you start not only to better understand what is happening around you (in fact, you generally cease to understand at least something, and don’t try!), But very sharply feel your own desires, yourself and the situation around you. And looking in the face of another stranger, but really wanting to meet an individual, after fifteen minutes you clearly understand that most of all you want to go home, in your lonely, but calm and comfortable life, and to hell with it, with loneliness, let it be! Although the joke was not very bearded and there seems to be something to talk about ... But there is no desire to exchange the proven, tortured values ​​of quiet solitude for a fifth glass of beer and a good but empty conversation with a good but unnecessary person. And after all, if you slightly tighten the moment of parting, then you will have to explain why you are leaving and you will never turn around and you will not regret it. And there is no strength, and it’s a shame to offend a good person. What for? He has everything ahead. And it happens that you creep out for a specific need or from absolutely nothing to do in an unfamiliar company, a party or no matter where. And I don’t really want to go. And the street is dark and snowy in the face. And you don’t understand that in general you forgot here ... First you cling to your eyes. Or not. Primarily - some forty-eighth feeling that you need to look. Then you cling to a word. For the first three minutes you don’t understand what it’s about and why say so ... Well, not to look ... Then you understand that you didn’t have to say it, but it's too late ... In about ten minutes you don’t understand anything, but after fifteen - everything becomes unimportant. And the snow in the face, and the fact that reluctance today was to "paint" his eyes, and an alarm clock at seven in the morning ... Everything does not matter ... Damn. Alarm clock. - Will you be tea or coffee? - Tea. - With or without sugar? - With sugar. - With or without lemon? - With lemon. - Did not guess! Without! I'm smiling. Today I am not alone. Even if it does not change anything ... (C)