"Я — велосипедист. Велосипедист прежде всего. Меня не...

"I am a cyclist. A cyclist in the first place. Neither the weather nor the situation on the road scares me. In winter I put spikes on my wheels. And I have a helmet. Bicycle gloves. Special trousers and jackets. On-board computer. Flashlight. I drive for a year. four thousand kilometers. Along the way, on a voluntary basis, I’m not too lazy to break off the wipers from impolite cars. I can put them on the body. Or in the side window. I shout so that I lose my voice and I’m not afraid if the driver stops and walks on me. Without reducing the tone, I prove my point, smash head over heels I’m claiming it and defending my rights as a cyclist. And I get to the place very quickly. Much faster than cars. The biggest joy for me is traffic jams in the morning. Take for example the way down Sognswayen, through Adamstüyen and further along Teresesgaten and Pilestredet. Here there are a lot of cars and several trams, which stop in the middle of the Terezesgaten, and since there is almost always an oncoming traffic, the cars have to wait, and then I fly out onto the sidewalk, snuggle strongly to the right, go round the passengers who enter and get out of the tram, and have time to jump onto the pavement four or five meters ahead of the tram long before it starts. The pavement just in this place is slightly higher than usual and slightly sloping upwards, so I group, jump and land on both wheels exactly between the rails. This is not an easy trick, but I am not making a universal premiere out of it. Who saw, he saw. Perhaps this spectacle will induce someone to get a bicycle. Thinking about it is already a sufficient reward. Encouraged by her, I continue the path to the next obstacle, the roundabout on Bishlet, where I also apply a well-honed technique to brilliance, however, it causes a certain discontent of professional drivers and is somewhat contrary to the rules. But, becoming a cyclist, a person involuntarily becomes a combatant. He is forced to lead the life of a partisan and encroach on the prevailing system of movement, which is increasingly taking the form of driving a car, even in the case of healthy and strong people. Cyclists are being harassed, we are a minority without a voice, whose habitat is being squeezed daily, forcing us into places not suitable for our everyday life, we are not allowed to speak our language, we are being squeezed underground. But beware, because injustice is glaring and anger and aggression accumulate in cyclists, then do not be surprised if one day, when non-cyclists get fat enough to stop fit behind the wheel, we cyclists will go on the offensive and will not stand on ceremony.
I am a cyclist. In addition, I am a husband, father, son and a person with a constant source of income. And the homeowner. And one more thing. Man, he is a lot of people. "
(Erland Lou Doppler)