В кои веки решил отгул отгулять. Проснулся утром,...

For once decided to take a day off. I woke up in the morning, no one was home.
Beauty! I go out to the kitchen, lo and behold - the bin is full. Three days
I tell them: take out the trash, take out the trash. If only someone scratched himself.
He spat, took it out himself. I went to the bathroom to rinse, rinsed, set.
Then I think, since I've come here, I'll rinse myself at the same time. Well,
tell me, would a normal person wash after a garbage can? But
this is normal ...

In short, I washed myself, began to crawl out of the bathtub, and the grunts - a leg in a bucket. Well,
laughed at first, then tried to shake it off - not shaken off. Yes and
uncomfortable - the second leg is in the bath. Laughed again, but with
chill, and again for some reason climbed into the bath. Probably wanted to wash off the bucket.

He stood for a while, thought, then left his leg with a bucket in the bath, and the other leg
got out and began to rip off the bucket on the edge of the tub. But I'm slippery after
soul something. Therefore, the free leg left for a split, and I
about the edge of the bath ka-a-k eksel-moxel! I hear through the inhuman pain
Something rolled across the floor. Well, I think you got some perfume, man, now
you will sing in falsetto in the union choir. I caught my breath, I look - glory
God: it turns out that some cans fell off the shelf and rolled. AND
I have everything in place. And the bucket as well.

The leg is firmly driven into the bottom of the bucket with the fingers up and rested against the curly
bend. I tried to take it off the heel - wherever there, it sits firmly. Off toe
I tried - the nail bites into the finger, I can't stand it. For some reason included
shower and filled a bucket of water. I thought it would get heavier from the water and slide off
legs, but everything turned out the other way around - the leg swelled from the water and got stuck still
stronger.

I decided to go dry my leg with a hairdryer: like, the limb will dry out and the bucket
jump off. And then a new problem arose - how to pour water out of a bucket.
Anyone who thinks that it is simple does not understand a damn thing in life.
I had to go to the bathtub, lift my legs and pour the water over myself. Sami
you understand, there is little pleasant: the bucket, although clean, is still
garbage. Wet, with a bucket on his leg, he went into the hall to look for a hairdryer. I go
I rattle this garbage rubbish all over the house, laugh and swear at the same time.

I found a hairdryer, turned it on to the very hot, began to blow it into the bucket. It blew for half an hour.
The leg is hot, but it doesn't dry out, you bastard. Threw down the hairdryer, grabbed the first
the wife's cream that came across (as it turned out later, the most expensive) and smeared
leg them. I thought it would slip. As a result, everything began to slip: hands, things,
doorknobs. Everything except the bucket.

I went back to the bathroom. I go - boom-boom, boom-boom - and I smell like
idiot: on top with expensive perfume, below - in a trash can. Stuck my foot with
bucket into the bath and again filled the bucket with water. I think, they say, let your foot
in general will swell and the bucket will burst to hell. From half an hour
I stood there: my leg hurts, but it's no use. I went to the hall again. Water already
did not merge. I think I'll sit in the bath all covered in cream, start sliding and
I won't get up. And it's hard, by the way, with a bucket of water around the apartment
hang around.

He turned on the computer, typed in Yandex: how to remove a bucket from his leg. Learned
everything about buckets from ancient Greek times, but the main question of the answer
I never found it. No wonder they say that the Internet is a complete garbage dump.
There is a lot of rubbish, but does not give an answer to burning questions! Cried from
despair and idiocy. Joking aside, but the leg is already all blue. So before
gangrene is short-lived. I called the Emergencies Ministry. The dispatcher laughed at first, but
then he hears the man crying, they say, another half hour and amputate his leg
will have to, took pity, sent the brigade. The guys arrived quickly, through
Ten minutes. The doorbell rang, I rushed to open it, and then
I look: I'm naked, after a shower I haven't dressed ...

Have you ever put on panties through a bucket? Not? And I put it on. Now
I can say that in life I have experienced everything. And I know for sure: cowards through
It's impossible to put on a bucket, even if it's not panties, but mother-in-law's leggings.
I tore three panties until I realized it. Then he spat, with a towel
tied himself up and let the rescuers go.

They turned out to be great. They didn't laugh, in two minutes a bucket
sawed