ЛЮДИ ПРО ПОЛУЧЕНИЕ И ЛЮДИ ПРО ОТДАВАНИЕ Вот...

PEOPLE ABOUT GETTING AND PEOPLE ABOUT GIVING

Here is a mother sitting with a crying child. A neighbor comes up to her and says: "And you can go somewhere else / calm down / shut up the child, because he interferes with us."
But you can in fact answer in another way: "I know a good place where you will be comfortable. It's quiet and peaceful." or "Maybe you need a baby panadol, I have it."

It is clear that in both cases the child interfered with the neighbor. But what's the difference? In the first case, the neighbor took care of her comfort, in the second, she tried to delve into the problem of another person. In the first case, the neighbor will be sent, if not this time, then someone else will certainly. In the second, the matter will end much better.

This simple example of different neighbors shows that there are people about GETTING, and there are people about GIVING. And this principle is so strong that it works almost everywhere, like the laws of physics.
The idea lies on the surface; so I’m hardly the first to think of it. A person is the sum of the books he has read, and I have met something similar in many places in the literature, but in such a simple form I formulated this principle myself.

Let's see some examples.

1) Hiring.
If the question is important for the candidate: “What is the fixed part of the salary, without a bonus?”, Then in essence he is interested in: “What can I get if I don’t do anything?”. This person is about GETTING, goodbye.
And if a person tries to understand the employer's problems and try on how he could solve them, then this is about GIVING. That is why before the interview, you need to study what the company is doing.

2) Success, wealth.
Those who want a business or a career for the sake of GETTING a nice office, money and a wheelbarrow, are unlikely to advance beyond attending trainings for business youth.
Those who want to make a cool product or GIVE a solution to the market ... you get the idea.

3) Or here are my classes.
I ask myself the question: will the student feel good from this or that of my actions? As a consequence of this LOADING, I currently have 7th out of 900th in physics and 18th out of 2625 in mathematics. And now, after a while, this also has a good effect on receiving :) But in this order: first, GIVING without an explicit desire to receive, and only then RECEIVING.

4) Or politicians.
Many people say that they are about GIVING, but in reality they are about RECEIVING. We all feel this and have no illusions - their name is legion.
But there are those who are talking about GIVING, though they are few. For example, a minister who said: "morons ...". Most likely, these "morons" were careless employees about GETTING (ranks, money), and he, as a man about GIVING, got angry. And ordinary people felt it!
This is not a trivial argument that you need to work well and not bad. Of course, those who are about GIVING can mow, but they always win over long distances.

5) Or here's another example.
I spoke with the parent of a potential student.
- Tell us about yourself, why should we choose you
- I don't know why you should choose me. All I do: I increase the level of knowledge of the student in comparison with the current one.
- But now we have 60 USE points. You need 80. Do you have a method for achieving this result?
- I have no such technique. And no one has it. You should have thought before, before grade 11.
Then I asked for a long time about the student, his success, character, how he learns. And he said: 4-5 hours of physics a week. And a lot of DZ. Or nothing. When I heard that they still want to go to competitions and continue to play sports, I recommended that with such an attitude to study, it is better to immediately learn to run cross-country in a gas mask.
As you can see, the marketer and salesman from me is, to put it mildly, not very good. But then I was surprised to learn that my parent liked me. Why did this happen? He was expecting a self-presentation about how awesome I am and why I want to GET his money. But I delved into his problem, the person felt my sincere interest in GIVING. And even the phrase about the gas mask (on the verge of rudeness, by the way!) Did not spoil it. Because it's not the form that matters, but the essence.

6) No, this is not a post of self-praise - I'm not perfect.
I before, and more than once, was about GETTING. It ended with what it should have - nothing. And then I did not understand why. After all, someone else, too, did something similar (did not), but he got away with it. That is, someone GOT, but I did not. Now it seems to me such a kindergarten ...
This is how the cloakroom attendants reason: "Why didn't Masha clean the shift, but I plowed for her." They will remain cloakroom attendants all their lives ...

7) You can say about any person what he is.
Listen carefully to what he says. Where does the story begin. "I built, taught, did, organized, explained, helped ..." or "I was given a privilege, a place, an award ...". What phrases will be more?
Of course, we all give and receive. No one gives the result of their labor for free, and those who only want to receive are forced to tear something away from themselves. It is important which motive is primary. Moreover, it is primary not for show, but for real.