Баллада о черном суппорте (очень страшная история) В...

Ballad on a black caliper
(very scary story)

In a certain city of Russia
(Maybe even yours)
There is a computer company
Under the name ... I do not remember.
A firm, in general, is like a firm:
She sells iron
And some programs
(Not to say for nothing
But not at an exorbitant price either)
Pays taxes on time
(Half is for sure)
Rent a room
NIImorgorvorprom.
This company has a director,
There is an accountant and a driver,
Three sellers,
Girl on the phone
What is able with expression
Read the price list to the client ...
And there is also someone
For technical support
(In our dialect
Called a caliper).
From morning to lunch
From lunch to sunset
(And often even later,
If the day, for example, is winter)
He is sitting on the phone.
(Or rather, a little to the left),
And when the client does not heed
Price list stamped lines,
And he screams that, they say, a computer
Doesn't work as it should -
A girl is calling a caliper
He takes the phone obediently
And he listens to the ear
Outpourings are:
"I bought a mouse from you here,
And today is my Winchester
Formatted in FIG!
There was probably a virus in the mouse,
I want compensation! "
"I bought a graphics card,
I can not put it!
I tried for a very long time -
She doesn’t climb into the monitor! "
"I bought a CD drive from you,
I was told - everything reads,
Why is my floppy disk
He doesn’t want to read point blank ?! "
"I have your program
So I drove the car
What's all over my apartment
The electricity has gone out! "
"After your utility
Smoked power supply!
Where can I download a new driver
With the smoke going off? "
"I purchased a modem from you
And stuck it in the socket -
Why internet
I still do not see?
And another thing: modem wire
Not suitable for monitor -
No, I don’t need a computer,
I want to see pictures! "
And the support for these speeches
Answers patiently
Kindly and calmly
Literary language
("Your mother" will not even say
Does it say "your board
Maternal ... ") And times
That way from the fifth to sixth
It suddenly comes to the client -
Not always, but not infrequently.
Wise customers
Everything that follows, having done,
Hang up the phone and right there
Forgetting the caliper ...
And when the sun sets
Darkness descends to the earth.
Quietly empty in the company
Not a soul in the trading floor,
Computers sleep in sleep mode,
The director and the accountant are sleeping
Sleeping Iron Tester
With manual under the pillow
Head to keyboard
Sleeping beggar hacker
Individually and together
Customers and clients are sleeping
And at NIImorgorvorprom
Dozing off the watchman on watch.
But when midnight comes
The clock on the old tower is beating
And the caliper gets out of bed
At the twelfth stroke.
He is black with face and body,
Only burn with bloody fire
Like modem lights
Two pupils in the darkness of midnight.
Black, scary and silent
He walks under the moon
And through the locked doors
It penetrates like a hacker.
And awful awakening
Those customers and clients,
What a stupid question
In the afternoon the calipers were disturbed;
And they cry heart-rendingly
But no one hears screams ...
And in the morning they are found,
With fans in my throat
With a power cord around the neck
Columns are inserted into the skull,
On the processor in the eye sockets,
User's manual in the stomach ...
And the police are powerless
Find traces of the killer.
Because listen, oh user,
This woeful ballad
And, upgrading your computer,
Honor the docks diligently
Explore smart magazines
Iron sections,
And with a knowledgeable people
Communicate at conferences.
And only if you are sure
That really is your sensible question -
Only then call the calipers!
And not that ... Fearing the night ...