Решили два молодых аспиранта диссертацию написать. Выбрали себе...

Two young graduate students decided to write a thesis. They chose topics for themselves and scattered around the departments. A familiar professor went to visit one of them. I saw a young man at work, rejoiced, and became interested:
- What is your theme?
- Well, the topic is simple. "The farther into the forest, the more firewood."
- But who then formulates the topic! It should be scientific, more impressive.
For example, "On increasing fuel resources with moving deeper into the forest" ...
- Wow !!!! - the graduate student was delighted, hardly recognizing the native theme.
The next day he meets his friend and asks:
- What did you call your job?
“On the Role of Musical Instruments in the Life of Pets,” a friend answers proudly.
“Did you invent this yourself or did the professor prompt you?”
- Of course, the professor suggested.
- And how was this before?
- Before? "And what for a goat button accordion!"

more topics:

“The dualistic principle of the use of agricultural implements on hydro-surfaces” (written by a pitchfork on water)

“The binary nature of the statements of an individual who has lost social activity” (Grandma said in two)

“Problems of transporting liquids in vessels with a variable density structure” (Carry water in a sieve)

“Optimization of the dynamics of the operation of a traction vehicle associated with the elimination of an initially destructive transport unit” (Baba with a cart - a mare is easier)

“The weakly expressed relevance of the use of keyboard instruments in the midst of persons of a spiritual rank” (harmony in fig ass)

“Non-standard methods of treating scoliosis by sending funeral services” (he will correct the humpback grave)

“Problems of increasing the fine dispersion of diatomic hydrogen oxide mechanically” (crush water in a mortar)

“Latent possibilities of using verbal means of communication to optimize labor” (went for ...)

“The positive impact of a low coefficient of intelligence on increasing the totality of tasks in the process of carrying out labor activity (fools like work)

“Solipsism of poultry in relation to non-ruminant mammals of the order of artiodactyls” (goose pig is not a friend)

“Characteristic external signs as a pretext for usurping the most favorable social status in the market” (with a pig’s snout and in a high profile)

"Anthropomorphic approach to the creation of a marriage cell" (to whom the mare and the bride)

"The syndrome of rejection of legitimization, based on the lack of opportunities for quick identification of the individual" (I am not me, and the horse is not mine)

"The influence of seasonal and weather conditions on the accounting process of birds" (chickens in the fall consider)

"The ambivalent nature of the neural impulses emitted by the cerebral cortex" (both you want and it pricks)

"Regularities of the ratio of the length of the keratinized epidermis with the amount of gray matter in the skull" (the hair is long, but the mind is short)

“A type of legal act prevailing over currency funds” (a deal is more expensive than money)

“Inadmissibility of using typical elements of housing architecture while denying the climax of contemplatively-tactile emotions” (love is not potato, you won’t throw it out the window)

“Neutral taste characteristics of a cruciferous plant in relation to vegetable crops in central Russia” (horseradish is not sweeter)

“The antithesis properties of mentally-disabled persons in the context of the implementation of state normative acts” (no law has been written for fools)

“Lack of progress-regression in the body’s metabolism with a change in the ratio of fats and carbohydrates in the traditional dish of settled peoples” (you won’t spoil the porridge with butter)

"The place of insect-shaped in hierarchical systems of the pyramidal type" (every cricket know your sixth)

"The pattern of increasing the personal value of the subject after receiving traumatic experience" (for one beaten two unbeaten give)