Я, конечно, стараюсь не поддаваться массовой истерии по...

Of course, I try not to succumb to mass hysteria about flat
bellies and fit pop - everything in me is beautiful and so, and the strength of my
unearthly charm distracts from possible minor flaws. Spring however
there is spring, spring will come summer with swimwear and other unpleasant
bare stomachs, so I gathered my ass in a fist, exhaled and took a strong-willed
decision to sign up for Strength training for all muscle groups with elements
step. Recommended for any level of training. "It is very good that
for any level - I, of course, have been an athlete, last year three days
Squats in the morning did, and I have dumbbells the door to the room propped up, but
still, you need to start with something simpler. And then how do I go to the gym
the hall, how I will be covered with cubes, how I will become one continuous ball of muscle!
Nothing boded of trouble - aunts of different builds in a spacious hall,
coffin-like dwarf step-platforms, rhythmic music, trainers
not yet. Remembering that before the training the athletes warm up, I
I jumped with a focused face, turned my head and showed in every possible way
to those present that they were visited by a fitness fan who knows that and
as! So, where is the coach already? What is this vapsche, I do not understand? ..

The trainer jumped up - a little pumped up woman:
“Is this your first time?” It will be hard - take a break. Go!

Five minutes, the flight is normal! It's great to jump to music - what am I here
haven't come before? It is necessary to engage in sports, give a healthy lifestyle!

Seven minutes, the flight is normal, but bewilderment grows inside - that's all
Will there be 50 minutes at this pace?

Ten minutes, the flight is so-so. There are twenty women around me with faces of killers
they wave their legs and hammer into the platform - that there is an elephant compared to the battalion
gloomy aunts who decided to put themselves in order!

Twelve minutes, perplexity grows stronger. Aunt trainer doesn't even
turned pink:

- Even more active! Mach, step, overwhelming! Four more times, don't slow down!

Fifteen minutes - now I burst with splashes and stain your room. Or at
my leg on the next swing will come off. I understand why the rest of the women are so
hammering into the step platform, I also hated mine: get it, you gad thing,
here you are, and again! So that you break, to hell!

Twenty minutes, take the mats, now there will be a press complex. Well glory
to God, at least not to skip, otherwise I got sick of the erysipelas with our color banner
one - in places blue, sometimes red, and a pair of white spots.

Twenty two minutes: mom! Bring back the step platform, I want to die in
movement, and not in the pose of epileptic cancer! I can't throw my legs behind my head
the strength of the abdominal muscles I have no muscles there, I have breakfast there and nerves.

Twenty five minutes: who farted? Press exercises are not in vain -
Belarusian partisans could torture captive Germans by twisting - after the 15th
times I am ready to tell all the secrets of the universe.

- Do not freebie! Who wants to walk with a bare tummy in the summer? We are working! If I
Now I’m going to die, then the summer’s bare tummy will not worry me much in the summer - I’m crawling quietly
on the floor and breathing into the aisle. The mirror reflects priests of all colors and sizes and
erysipelas of the same color - crimson, facial expression is still gloomy
anti-cellulite jihad.

Thirty minutes: the group looks like a squad of zombies - staggering figures in
half-squat, disheveled hair and eyes burning with a sacred thought. Sorry,
but I can’t curl up in such a pose, my legs are growing in the opposite
direction. And I can hardly in this life! And so I can’t do either
this, after all, is simply indecent! It’s necessary to pinch off imperceptibly
a piece from the trainer and pass for analysis - she’s a rubber, normal person in
such nodes will not be able to start.
Thirty-five minutes: of course, why not push up one last time? My
the body pretends to be a trembling rag and refuses to accept any
positions, except purely horizontal.

- So, girls, push up on the platform, touch her breasts - who
touches, his chest is beautiful!

I touched the platform with my chest almost immediately and remained lying -
is it considered or not?

Forty minutes: I can’t sit down like that, my legs don’t bend like that! To get
little fingers to pinky feet in such a pose? This is utopia. What are you doing?!
Stop breaking my body! What a strong woman trainer, so small and
so cruel! I will not work out, I'm from a single piece of wood
done, ahhhhh! Wait, don't leave! Put me back immediately, I
I won’t straighten myself, and I won’t get into such a messy car!

Forty-five minutes: I really want to hide behind the step platform. I'll die in agony
right on the final stretch - I’ll tear in half at the expense of “three”. Forgive me
all for everything! And-and-and-and-so!

Fifty minutes: someone good gathered me in a heap and rolled me to the wall.
The lesson is over, they are waiting for us in two days. Wait - Ale, husband? Come and take my remains. Lord, how bad! ..

Morning: y-s-s-s-s ... God, yesterday I was fine, BAD to me today!
It feels like I was sleeping in a working concrete mixer - I can move
only with eyes. Etc