“Я слежу за своим саморазвитием! Недавно, у меня...

“I follow my self-development!
Recently, I had three holotrop sessions, 35 sessions of regressive hypnosis, 12 sessions on the formation of fundamental self-esteem, 24 hours of uninterrupted energy-meditation, and on completion - seven days of dry starvation, I went out of hunger according to all the canons of modern naturopathy ...

Then, a 10-day vipassana was passed, a large retreat in Bali for dynamic Osho-meditation, a visit to all the holy places in India, a separate week stay in the Sai Baba ashram, a hike to the top of Mount Kailas ... As well as a full course of yoga-nidra , Sufi circling, douche for Porfiry Ivanov, a three-year dark retreat of Tibetan Buddhism, and a statue of Buddha Shakyamuni for good luck ...

I drank ayavaska, chewed peyote and gathered psilocybin mushrooms on elephant farms in Thailand, discovered an interconnection with the cosmos trying the leaves and stalks of cannabis, investigated the effects of magic mushroms on Sumatra ....

I went through a personal initiation session with Eskhart Tolle and opened the doors of perception with my foot, learning how to be everything and be nobody, to be here and now, to feel the moment and be fully aware of myself in it ...

I diagnosed karma according to Lazarev, loved my illness according to Sinelnikov, released the past according to Novikov, rang cedars with Anastasia, planted trees and created the school of Happiness, loved myself as bequeathed by Dmitry Trotsky and tracked all the psychosomatics of the reactions occurring in me ...

I listened to 558 lectures of Torsunov about happy family life; 108 lectures of Ruzov on how to become successful and happy; I thoroughly studied the psycho-numer-chakro-physio-vastu-palmistry from Rami Blekt, and I realized that a woman needs all the same, having studied 305 lectures of Narushevich ...

I went to the Helinger arrangement, studied Human Design, mastered Socionics, calculated all the variants of psychomatrices for myself and all my relatives and friends ...

I rebuilt my old dvushku across the vast, cut 6 acres of parents in the golden section, hollowed out a pond along Holzer, laid a garden along Zhelezov, dug a cellar along ancient Russian sazheny ...

I passed 156 private coaching sessions on business development and personal effectiveness, 23 time management classes, and attended two hundred and fifty-five lectures of the most successful people on the planet ...

I mastered seven habits of Covey in seven days, developed my emotional intelligence and learned to be always positively idiotic ...

I put stones on all fingers to get rid of the adverse influence of the planets, and wished everyone happiness 108 circles on the rosary every day ...

I cleaned all the chakras of Chakravidya, and raised the kundalini all the way, worked the karma of the clan to seven generations, and remembered all my reincarnations ...

I eliminated all the parasites with the most cardinal methods of purification, drank 10 liters of castrots according to Budilov and cleaned the liver according to Moritz, went hungry for Ohanian, and became friends with chank-prakshalana ...

I became a vegetarian, then a vegan, then a raw food eater, then a monk-eater, a fruitarian, a bigu, a sun-eater, a pranoedom, and a poor one ...

Listen ...

I do not know what could be the matter .....

But still ... it seems to me ...
that I still lack something ... ”(c)