Привет всем!!!В кои веки решил отгул отгулять. Проснулся...

Hello everyone !!! For once, I decided to go on a day off. I woke up in the morning, no one was home. Beauty! I go out into the kitchen, looking - the garbage can is overflowing. Three days to them taldych: take out the garbage, take out the garbage. At least someone scratched. Spat, made himself. He went to the bathroom to rinse, rinse, set. Then I think, since I came here, at the same time I will rinse myself. Well, tell me, would a normal person after a washhouse wash? But this is normal ... In short, he washed himself, began to get out of the bath and hryas - the foot in the bucket. Well, he laughed at first, then he tried to shake off - not shaken off. Yes, and uncomfortable - the second leg is in the bath. He laughed again, but with chill, and again, for some reason, he climbed up. Probably wanted to wash the bucket. He stood, thought, then left his foot with a bucket in the bath, and got out with his second foot and began to tear off the bucket on the edge of the bath. But I'm slippery after a shower. Therefore, the free leg went to the splits, and I am the whole farm on the edge of the bath ka-a-k eksel-moksel! I hear through the pain of inhuman, something rolled on the floor. Well, I think, you, man, have gone crazy, now you will be singing in falsetto in the trade union choir. I caught my breath, I see - thank God: it turns out that some banks from the shelf fell and rolled. And I have everything in place. And a bucket, including. The leg is tightly hammered into the bottom of the bucket with your fingers up and propped on a figured bend. I tried to remove it from the heel - where it is, firmly seated. I tried it with a sock - the nail digs into the nail, there is no tolerance. For some reason I turned on the shower and put water in the bucket. I thought it would become heavier from the water and slide down from the foot, but everything turned out the other way - the leg swelled and got stuck even more. I decided to go dry my leg with a hair dryer: like, the limb will dry out and the bucket will come off. And then a new problem arose - how to pour water out of a bucket. He who thinks it is simple, does not understand a damn thing in his life. I had to go to the bath, lift my legs and pour water on myself. Samiponimaete, pleasant enough: a bucket, though clean, but still trash. Wet, with a bucket on my foot, I went to the hall to look for a hairdryer. I go, I rattle this garbage rubbish all over the house, laugh, and swear at the same time.
I found a hair dryer, turned it on to the very heat, began to blow them in a bucket. Half an hour blew. But hot, but it does not dry out, you bastard. He threw a hairdryer, grabbed the first Kremzens (as it turned out, the most expensive) and smeared their legs. Thought slid. As a result, everything began to slide: hands, things, door handles. Everything, except cromedad.
Went back to the bathroom. I go - boom-hryas - and smell like an idiot: super-expensive perfume, from the bottom - a trash can. He put his foot with the bucket in the bath and the snood in the bucket of water. I think, they say, let the leg swell up at all and the bucket will burst into the crycher's mother. I stood for half an hour: my leg hurt, but zero sense. Went again. Water already did not drain. I think I’ll sit in the cream, slide into the bath, slide on my face and never get up. And by the way, by the way, it’s hard to rent a bucket of water. I turned on the computer and typed in Yandex: how to remove a bucket from my foot. I learned all about buckets from ancient Greek times, but I didn’t find the answer to the main question. I wept for despair and idiocy. Jokes with jokes, and the leg is blue all over. So it is not long before gangrene. I called the Ministry of Emergency Situations. At first, the dispatcher laughed, but then he hears, the man is crying, they say, he will have to amputate another half hour, have pity, sent the brigade. The guys quickly arrived in ten minutes. The doorbell rang, I rushed to open it, and then I saw: I’m naked, I didn’t get dressed after a shower ... Did you ever wear pants over a bucket? Not? And I wore. Now I can say that in life I have experienced everything. And I know for sure: the pants through the bucket are put on impossible, even if it is not cowards, but shorts of leggings. Three panties ripped until it realized. Then he spat, wrapped himself in a towel, and let the rescuers go. They did great work. They did not laugh, they missed it in two minutes. Thank you, crying for pulling me out of a hopeless situation. But is it really hopeless, says their oldest. An hour before you, the man stuck his head in the freezer stuck, wanted to see why the light bulb was off. This is the situation. And you have it, garbage.