Есть такая профессия "тыжфотограф" ___________________ часто на съемках...

There is such a profession as a photographer
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often on the set they literally shove their hands in a soap box or phone and say:
Take a picture on our
and I don’t even know where the shutter button is, I say
- I do not know how to use it
make round eyes
Well "tyzhphotograf"
hence conclusion 1
"tyzhfotograf" perfectly shoots everything that comes to hand phot phone or matchbox
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or friend is talking
-Hear I need to make an advertisement here, a banner, flyers, a background to replace
I answer
- you need a designer
Well "tyzhphotograf"
-So what ?
-Well, do you own Photoshop?
conclusion 2 "tyzhfotograf" is also a designer and creator and slogan writer
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or be sure to ask once a month
-And advise which camera to buy?
start asking
-a what and why there are good entry-level SLR optics can be selected
- it’s not easier for us
-Ok there are good without a mirror, etc. ..
- it’s not very easy for us, we were in the store, the seller advised us, casio is so red 12 megapixels is this good?
-hz I do not understand soap dishes, especially since there are a lot of them
Well "tyzhphotograf"
conclusion 3 "tyzhfotograf" knows absolutely all cameras and all their technical characteristics even if they were released yesterday and knows how to distinguish them by color and body shape

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or write
-we have professional pictures you can process and make a book
- one must look at quality
(proudly) -professional
-ok throw off a couple of photos you need to look
and there the guard was overexposure, on the street there was a diaphragm 11 and the soap was creepy and half in blue tint, I climb into the exif there 5 d mark 2 + a whale trip.
-And without this blue there?
is already processed
I say either bw or blue will remain
-That's impossible to do like here (link to my wedding)
-It was necessary to do immediately when shooting now it’s too late
Well, "tjfotograf" treat as your
conclusion 4 "tyzhfotograf" everything can then in Photoshop draw a picture bokeh color sharpness it is all done then and when shooting no matter how and what is taken
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or still going somewhere on a weekday call
-Hi
-Hi
-how are you ?
-Yes, good
-Where are you now?
Yes, here I go (blah blah blah)
- and you don’t have a camera with you, otherwise I need a facade and the building’s interior can be clicked off
O_o
Conclusion 5 of course I’ll call in “tyjfotograf” never parted with the camera, even sleeping with him
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And still pleasing calls like
-a where in Photoshop the button change the background
or here the video is calling in the morning
I put one photo on the cover for the cover and how to soften the edges
and from asleep, right by the buttons you try to remember what you need to press after and how else to explain by phone what the layer mask icon looks like
conclusion 6 of the “tyzhfotografa” photoshop in the brain is loaded and he can find the answer to any wackiest question
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or invited you to a holiday come
and they
-And you did not take a camera?
- Well, I have come to rest
-Who will photograph us?
conclusion 7 "tyzhphotografy" do not like to relax in principle
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one young lady writes in contact
-Hi)) Hi)) I was advised by Vasya Pupkin to need a photographer who could charityly shoot for advertising the fur salon))) advertising will hang throughout the city. How do you like the offer?
I answer
-Hi) Charity - giving selfless help to those who need it. (from Wikipedia) the fur salon can’t be attributed to the poor or needy
she still didn’t read my answer
-hang up)))) found))
and later reading answers
-jamb RA, not the cabin
conclusion 8 "tyzhphotografy" big workaholics are ready to work in order to then enjoy their work on the city billboards