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Brownie's diary:
12-th of September.
I started a new notebook. I'm sitting on the fridge, writing. Three in the morning. The hostess eats sausage and thinks that no one sees her.
September 13.
The cat is molting. I sneeze. The hostess is baptized.
September 15th.
We read the Kamasutra with the cat. Well, how did you read it? .. They whinnied from the pictures. But then we thought a lot.
16 of September.

The cat gave a shit under the bed. I asked him - why? Says - just like
it escaped. Experiencing. Asks me where you can hide on
a few days.
September 17.
The hostess khakhal reached for slippers and
got into ... history. The cat sat on the closet and pretended to wipe there
dust. The khakhal climbed after him, got tired and broke his arm. I fell from laughing
together with a chandelier for the hostess. According to the calendar - auspicious day.
September 19th.
Khakhal does not come yet. The hostess stuffed the cat with a slipper. Now he doesn't talk to me. What have I to do with it?
September 20th.

Tossed the cat a note offering peace. For a long time he pretended that
can read. In the end, he ate it and said that I agree. I seem to be his
underestimated. I hid the diary.
September 22nd.
Chopped with a cat
on scissors in a rock-paper-scissors. It is not interesting to play with him. Because
except for paper, he can put nothing. Now lies on the bed and
complains of headache.
23 September.
The plumber came. I asked for a key for sixteen. I gave it to him. What's the habit of fainting?
September 25.

Again the pop, again the censer. I asked him not to smoke too much. He said that
once the money has been paid, one must be patient. I hinted to him about the rollback. He did
pretending that he stopped hearing me.
September 26.
He told the cat that geranium contains a lot of vitamins. What will happen ...
September 27.

The hostess sleeps with light for the second day. I turn it off periodically. Interferes
same ... Every time I fall asleep under prayer. In my opinion, Yesenin wrote better.
September 28.

Celebrated the birthday of the cat. We drank valerian, rode on curtains, sang
songs. In the evening we sat on the windowsill. The cat walked on the parapet and screamed
that if it falls, then a fig will not be, because he has nine lives.
So drunk it becomes ...
September 29.
Sucks ... Milk would be ...
September 30th.

We watched Animal Planet with the cat. Says all lions are dumb
because they sit on anabolic steroids. It seems to me he is just jealous.
2 October.
He told the cat that if you sit in a box, you can really lose weight. I walk, laugh ...
October 3rd.
Tomorrow our hostess's mother is coming to visit us. We are waiting ...

October 4 And we waited. The hostess's mother arrived. Met her
bread and salt. That is, crumbs on the bed and salt in the tea. I do not like
guests. The cat told me that I am a social phobia. I do not argue.
October 5th. Hahal
in a cast I came to meet my mother. I could not even stand such impudence
tolerant cat. All the same pissed. Into the boot. To the right.
October 6 Cat
snatched both from the hostess and from Zinaida Zakharovna - her mother. Fancy man
abstained. The cat endured everything heroically. Then he asked me - looks like
whether he is on Jeanne Dark. How does he know about her?
October 7: Played with
cat playing football with a champagne cork. Zinaida Zakharovna stepped on
her head and flew straight into the closet. Now we call her Zinedine Zidane.
Behind the eyes, of course.
October 8 The hostess complained to Zidane about me.
She replied that it was all nonsense and removed my cup of milk. This is war.
Carthage must be destroyed.
October 9th At an emergency meeting, the cat declared itself neutral. Traitor! Nothing, I can handle it myself.
October 10th, choking grandmother at night. If only henna! Now she also snores like a gray gelding!
October 11 Today at two o'clock in the morning, the hostess and the grandmother collided foreheads at the refrigerator. A meeting of gutters on the Elbe, damn it!

October 12 No mood to fight. I was lying on the bed all day with
grandmother, watched the 27th season of "Field of Dreams" on DVD. Whinnying from her comments.
October 14th We talked with the cat about string theory. We agreed that it is much easier to weaken the "Eighth-grader" on the six-string.
October 15th The heating was turned on. At last! The cat thinks that the film "Batteries are asking for fire" is about housing and communal services workers.

October 16 I told the cat that if you climb on the dining table, then by this he
will assert its leadership in the apartment. He doubted for a long time, but climbed.
The hostess appeared suddenly as always. Flying past me, he managed
call me shit. Twice.
October 17 At night he whispered in my grandmother's ear that she had to go home. She got up and went to eat dumplings. Women ... No logic ...

October 18 The cat decided to quit eating kitekat. He walks angry, nervous. At night
five times went to the balcony, like to the toilet. Kitekat'om carries a mile away.
Lost, but continues to claim that he can quit at any time. AND
does not quit because it calms him down.
October 19 Granny seems to be going home. Glory to Perun!

October 20 We arranged a farewell ceremony for grandma. The cat gave a shit (!) To her galoshes. See,
she got it too. The grandmother did not notice, and so she stomped. Taught the cat
wet the crab. A worthy deed. Goodbye, Zinedine! You are forever
stay in our hearts! We will remember you like this - in galoshes full of
shit ...
October 22 I dropped the icon on the hostess. My bowl is back in place. It seems that we are starting to find a common language.

October 23rd Told the cat that claws sharpen best on upholstered furniture.
Now si