Вредные советы студентам консерватории :) Автор - Нина...

Bad advice for students of the conservatory :)
Author - Nina Danisevich, St. Petersburg

If suddenly a case happens -
The end of the semester is coming
And teachers ... (bad people)
Together they demand a test -
Don't be calm
A couple of tantrums
Hit pity and stubbornly
Do not go to pay debts.

Once I came to the library -
Pick up more books
Take the music for your specialty
Don't give up to the ensemble!
And to prepare for the test:
- I can't, - say sadly, -
Close to me to the library
They were not told to come.

If not ready for the test -
You step into class proudly, boldly
And you set the conditions
To make it clear to everyone:
- I know this and that,
The rest - sorry!
You can ask, of course,
I won't answer anyway.

They will put you at the piano -
Push as much as you can.
I don’t play so, period!
I'm not a musicologist for you.
Drama will be asked:
-What are you about? - be interested, -
Oh, I don't know the plot?
I don't like opera!

They will ask for a symphony
Tell - shut up like a fish!
You can shoot with your eyes
Or sigh pitifully
Whisper something indistinctly -
Let them sort it out themselves, they say!
Look languidly at the notes
And be silent forever.

If you write a quiz -
Then perhaps specifically:
Small fragment, unclear topic
And the orchestra is terribly bad.
Yes, and the recording played around
(Who just made it there!)
The vocalist sings out of tune -
Can't make out anything!

No admission before the exam -
It is clear who is to blame!
You are a gentle creature
You can't be pressured!
You just have to wait
Hour and day, week, month,
Year and how long it will take there,
When you hand over all the tails.

If they do bother you -
You excuse yourself with a concert
Rehearsal, ensemble,
Yes, an orchestra, finally!
Well, a specialty, a disease,
Make promises to everyone
That you will certainly answer
But don't say when.

And then that confused everyone,
You can look pleased.
Calming your conscience
Go for a walk.
And the scandal at the teachers' council -
Case three hundred twenty eight.
You are a super genius anyway!
The rest is nonsense.

Let them say - education!
Don't listen to anyone at all!
After all, from all unnecessary knowledge
Overload in the head.
Composers, probably
You can tell by the portrait.
(If you just figure it out -
What is written on them).

Your portrait will be hung nearby.
The inscription "Boob unique"
Means, in fact,
That you are a valuable specimen.
And then they will send to the museum,
On an excursion in which,
Pointing to your portrait
Everyone will say: - THIS IS YES!