Я просто не могу пройти мимо не опубликовать...

I just can't pass by not posting it on my site! My eyes will soon begin to twitch nervously from this word "extreme", which is used by all and sundry, using it instead of the word (the only correct one in this case) "last", i.e. latest or newest in relation to the current moment.
And the extreme is the North and the case :)

"The candidate has now gone insensitive, without any understanding of the subtle mental organization of the employer. Here I ask him:
- Denis, tell us about your last event.
- Extreme! About the last event! - I almost scream at the top of my voice ...
But I can't do that: I cut off years at the philological faculty. I can say, Rosenthal of the brain and Jacobson's prolapse. At least validol under the tongue.
It even seemed to me that the formidable figures of the colossus of Russian literature had grown up behind their backs, and they began to drill severely with the eyes of the foe. Professor Vinogradov frowned and puffed out his cheeks in displeasure, Ozhegov frantically flipped through the dictionary and ran his finger along the lines, moving his lips.
- Okay, - I said and, making an effort, squeezed out of myself: - about the extreme event.
At this point, the colossus of literature rolled their eyes, and Professor Shcherba - it seems, demanded me to retake.
- I held a vaper conference, said Denis. I myself am a vaper.
(Who does not know, vapers are people who puff up steam.
"Who are you, baby?" - "Granny, I'm a vaper!" - grandmother makes the sign of the cross, grandfather spits, mother sobs, wringing her hands)
There was a pause.
- Well, well, - I say, and I myself am thinking what to ask more. "How long have you been puffing?"
No, not an option.
- And what did you do at this conference? I was found in a minute.
- We had T-shirts with Edwards ...
- That is, with an autograph?
- Well, yes, autographed.
- Because the painting is under Khokhloma, for example ... - In this place I squinted at Vladimir Dal, who in return smiled graciously at me, as if agreeing to close my eyes to my past puncture.
- AND?
- No, no, nothing, Denis, go on.
-… and these T-shirts I sorted into the participants' packages.
Pam! At that moment there were two of me. The separation was painless and surprisingly easy. One continued to sit decorously at the table and look at the candidate, drawing squares in a notebook with a pen, and only a trembling eyelid showed some excitement in him.
The second I, at that moment, was jumping around the office, overturning chairs, throwing books against the walls and yelling:
- Stirred ?! Did you mess up? !!! He was screwing up the bitch !! Baudouin de Courtenay is your liver! So that the devils spoil you in the next world! For different packages!
Colossus of Russian literature pressed into corners. The profanity specialist quickly took notes after me. Ozhegov looked for words in his dictionary - and did not find it.
At the same time, the first I was calmly leafing through the candidate's resume:
- Denis, I see that you also held some kind of festival. Tell us.
- Yes, I organized a festival of Tolkien fanatics.
- Fanatics or fans?
- Who cares?
Pam! My first self, too, jumped out of the chair.
- Denis, we will have a long conversation with you now! - I said, and the colossus of Russian literature squared their shoulders behind my back. "
© Andrey Misyuk