Откровения ленивой мамы Я не знаю, опытная ли...

Lazy mom's revelations

I don't know if I'm an experienced mom. After all, a year is not a period. I know one thing for sure: I'm a lazy mom. For example, I was too lazy to explain long and tedious to a crying child that he really does not want to eat at all. Easier to feed. Especially at night. And we fed on demand. And I was too lazy to swaddle him. Moreover, I was not very good at it. Nonsense that a swaddled baby sleeps better. Mine did not fall asleep until, until he crawled out of these same diapers at least to the waist. But then I fell asleep hard and sweet ... And we began to sleep in sliders. And now we sleep in my mother's loose T-shirt with the words "Paris". It turns out very cute and very easy to dress. We are too lazy to put on pajamas. Yes, and it's hot here. We sleep, of course, together, as getting up at night, wandering to his bed, taking this young mammoth from there ... Brr! I tried. Oh oh oh! The cub peacefully fell asleep at my side (such a lazy mother, of course, feeds it lying down), I took it and carried it to the crib. There he woke up after 10 minutes, discovered that he (oh human meanness!) Was alone, and expressed his indignation. I took him and tried to rock him. During the process, he recalled that it would be nice to eat. We went to bed, and he sweetly fell asleep under the barrel of a soft, warm, tasty mother. I took it and carried it to the crib. There he woke up in 10 minutes ... For the fifth time it began to seem to me that I was being bullied. Him - too. Now we sleep together, and we will sleep like this until the desire to eat at night is completely gone. But I haven't got enough sleep since my pre-Detsad childhood. At night we feed practically in sleep. By the way, I didn't give him a dummy either. What is it, to accustom him to it (and how much advice they gave me - how!), So that later wean him off with no less effort! And worry about the wrong bite and nipple gripping! Well, no, we lazy people are not capable of that. We have a nipple, we sometimes gnaw it, instead of a teether. Or put it in a cup.

My laziness grows with the child. At the moment I am too lazy to wean him off the chest. I am simply amazed at the hard work of those mothers who, for some reason, make a strong-willed decision to do this in a year. Enough already. Who will have enough? Why a year? I don't understand. We, for example, are clearly not enough yet. Fortunately, there is milk, and there have never been any problems with it. Probably due to my great laziness. Nope, we'd better wait for the period of involution, and then slowly and give up.

But I'm especially too lazy to say the word: "You can't." I had to reduce its use to a minimum. First, why can't you just drag everything into your mouth? If it were harmful, the human race would have been interrupted long ago. It was necessary, however, to hide everything small - sharp - poisonous. But this is just one time. It's better than, like an ass, to talk "no" with a frequency of 5 times per minute. There are, however, controversial points. I still think that it is better not to eat sand and pebbles ... The cub internally disagrees with me. But he gradually resigns himself.

In general, than it is impossible to repeat for a long time and tediously, it is much easier to switch attention to something else, since it is still working. And if it doesn’t work or time is expensive, physically remove it. In the process of withdrawal, say "no" to get used to this word, and again, something to puzzle. While it works. For more than fifteen seconds, I have never been indignant.

I am also very surprised by mothers who, hanging over a bitterly crying (or heart-rendingly screaming) child, talk and talk and say ... "Well, why are you crying! Well, shame on you! How bad you are. I will not love you I'll leave you. I'll give you to someone else's aunt. Look: all the children don't cry, you are the only one crying. You are such rubbish !!! " You can still slap. No, do they seriously think that this will calm him down? And if she cries, and her husband tells her all this? Or at least half of that? Will she crack him with a frying pan or just kick him out? Well, aren't they too lazy? There are many simpler ways. For example, hug, kiss and quietly in your ear, whisper a rhyme or sing a song. We have in stock five such magic rhymes.

Or you can pick it up and show that dog or those ghouls there. Or you can meow loudly or do something like that, which is not very compatible with the status of a strict adult mother. For example, shake your head upside down with a shout: "Shake yourself, whims!" - as one friend of mine did, to the complete delight of her daughter. And there is no need to bring the matter to crying, usually it is not that difficult. You just need to show a little imagination and patience. Not to take away an object, but to change it for something, not to take away from the game in its midst, not to prohibit, but to distract attention and, in general, not to "enter into temptation." It's much easier than calming down later. Me, at least.

And look at things easier. (Continued in the comments):