"... Но, в общем, люди, когда я описываю партнерские отношения, часто пишут: скучно. Да. В любви, ребята, скучно. Реально. На самом деле. Вы просто не поверите, насколько это скучно. Если со стороны смотреть.
Там для стороннего наблюдателя реально - тоска и печаль. Про это кино не снимешь. Я звоню - он берет трубку. Он звонит - я беру трубку. Он зовет в кино - я соглашаюсь. Я зову в кино - он соглашается. А если не соглашаемся - то спокойно говорим, почему и передоговариваемся на другое время. Если ругаемся - миримся. И никаких там "Вы - слабое звено, прощайте!" с хлопаньем дверьми.
И оттого вся энергия идет не в "отношения", а на внешние объекты - очень много чего хочется делать и очень много чего делается. А дом - это то место, где просто хорошо, безопасно и уютно. Не всегда, но чаще всего. И все чувства - они внутри отношений, и это невероятно интересно. Но снаружи это не понять (я уже писала об этом когда-то), потому что снаружи кажется, что это два каких-то унылых чувака.
А вот в созависимости - огромное количество энергии. Там для стороннего наблюдателя - просто пир для глаз. И вся эта энергия направлена вовнутрь. Из нее ничего не рождается. Но это количество энергии и кажется жизнью. Дает ощущение: что-то происходит.
И фиг с ним, что происходит какая-то ересь. Зато - так много событий, так много приключений. Есть о чем подругам рассказать: он сначала с кем-то подрался, потом с кем-то переспал, потом отвез меня на аборт, потому что не готов к ребенку, потом съел каких-то несовместимых наркотиков, и чуть не умер, потом взял мои деньги и потратил их на покупку китайской горной гряды, а я - я-то молодец, я-то все это терплю и страдаю, правда... порезала его кредитку, вышвырнула на мороз его гитару, три раза обозвала его импотентом, проколола презерватив, чтобы удержать его ребенком и пять раз наглоталась разнообразных таблеток, разрезала себе вены и застрелила его собаку.
Согласитесь - вот он, сюжет для фильма. А я всего-то собрала две реальные истории в одну. И в это было закручено огромное количество других людей - кто-то возил собаку к ветеринару, кто-то - занимал деньги, чтобы что-то купить после того, как он их все взял, кто держал дверь, пока он, обожравшись наркотиков, ломился в квартиру, кто-то собирал деньги на аборт, и все - слушали и жалели.
Никто не остался без дела. Красота."
"... But, in general, people, when I describe partnerships, often write: boring. Yes. In love, guys, boring. Really. In fact. You just won't believe how boring it is. ...
For an outside observer, there really is longing and sadness. You can't make a movie about this. I call - he picks up the phone. He calls - I pick up the phone. He calls to the movies - I agree. I call to the cinema - he agrees. And if we do not agree, then we calmly say why we renegotiate for another time. If we swear, we make up. And no "You are the weak link, goodbye!" with doors slamming.
And that's why all the energy goes not to "relationships", but to external objects - a lot of things you want to do and a lot of things are done. And home is the place where it's just good, safe and comfortable. Not always, but more often. And all the feelings are inside the relationship, and it's incredibly interesting. But from the outside it is impossible to understand (I already wrote about this once), because from the outside it seems that these are some kind of sad dudes.
But codependency is a huge amount of energy. There, for an outside observer - just a feast for the eyes. And all this energy is directed inward. Nothing is born out of it. But this amount of energy seems to be life. Gives the feeling that something is happening.
And figs with him that some kind of heresy is going on. But there are so many events, so many adventures. There is something to tell my friends about: he first had a fight with someone, then slept with someone, then took me to an abortion, because he was not ready for a child, then he ate some incompatible drugs, and almost died, then he took mine money and spent it on the purchase of a Chinese mountain range, and I am a fine fellow, I endure all this and suffer, really ... I cut his credit card, threw his guitar out into the cold, called him impotent three times, pierced a condom, To keep him as a child, she swallowed various pills five times, cut her veins and shot his dog.
Agree - here it is, the plot for the film. And I just collected two real stories into one. And a huge number of other people were twisted into it - someone took the dog to the veterinarian, someone borrowed money to buy something after he took them all, who held the door while he, eating drugs, broke to the apartment, someone collected money for an abortion, and everyone - listened and regretted.
Nobody was left idle. Beauty."
For an outside observer, there really is longing and sadness. You can't make a movie about this. I call - he picks up the phone. He calls - I pick up the phone. He calls to the movies - I agree. I call to the cinema - he agrees. And if we do not agree, then we calmly say why we renegotiate for another time. If we swear, we make up. And no "You are the weak link, goodbye!" with doors slamming.
And that's why all the energy goes not to "relationships", but to external objects - a lot of things you want to do and a lot of things are done. And home is the place where it's just good, safe and comfortable. Not always, but more often. And all the feelings are inside the relationship, and it's incredibly interesting. But from the outside it is impossible to understand (I already wrote about this once), because from the outside it seems that these are some kind of sad dudes.
But codependency is a huge amount of energy. There, for an outside observer - just a feast for the eyes. And all this energy is directed inward. Nothing is born out of it. But this amount of energy seems to be life. Gives the feeling that something is happening.
And figs with him that some kind of heresy is going on. But there are so many events, so many adventures. There is something to tell my friends about: he first had a fight with someone, then slept with someone, then took me to an abortion, because he was not ready for a child, then he ate some incompatible drugs, and almost died, then he took mine money and spent it on the purchase of a Chinese mountain range, and I am a fine fellow, I endure all this and suffer, really ... I cut his credit card, threw his guitar out into the cold, called him impotent three times, pierced a condom, To keep him as a child, she swallowed various pills five times, cut her veins and shot his dog.
Agree - here it is, the plot for the film. And I just collected two real stories into one. And a huge number of other people were twisted into it - someone took the dog to the veterinarian, someone borrowed money to buy something after he took them all, who held the door while he, eating drugs, broke to the apartment, someone collected money for an abortion, and everyone - listened and regretted.
Nobody was left idle. Beauty."
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