Отрывок из "Заповедник", С. Довлатов. Шедевр, ребята, и...

Excerpt from the Reserve, S. Dovlatov. A masterpiece, guys, and enjoyment =)))))))

 
"... I sat at the door. A minute later a waiter appeared with huge felt whiskers.
 - What do you want?
 “I like it,” I say, “so that everyone will be friendly, modest and amiable.”
 The waiter, fed up with the diversity of life, was silent.
 “I like a hundred grams of vodka, beer and two sandwiches.”
 - With what?
 - With sausage, probably ...
 I took out cigarettes, lit a cigarette. Hands trembled ugly. “I wouldn’t drop the glass ...” And then two intelligent old women sat down nearby. It seems to be from our bus.
 The waiter brought a decanter, a bottle and two sweets.
 “The sandwiches are over,” he said with fake tragedy.
 I paid. He picked it up and immediately lowered the glass. Hands shook, like an epileptic. The old women looked at me squeamishly. I tried to smile:
 - Look at me with love!
 The old women flinched and relocated. I heard slurred critical interjections.
 Damn them, I think. He grabbed the glass with both hands and drank. Then, with a rustling sound, he opened the candy.
 It has become a little easier. A deceptive spiritual upsurge arose. I put a bottle of beer in my pocket. Then he got up, nearly knocking over a chair. Rather, duralumin chair. The old women continued to scaredly scrutinize me.
 I went to the square. The fence of the square was covered with warped plywood shields. Charts promised in the near future mountains of meat, wool, eggs and other intimacy.
 Men smoked near the bus. Women sat noisily.
 The guide girl ate ice cream in the shade. I stepped towards her:
 - Let's get acquainted.
 “Aurora,” she said, holding out a sticky hand.
 “And I,” I say, “the tanker Derbent.” The girl was not offended.
 - Everyone laughs at my name. I'm used to ... What is the matter with you? You are red!
 “I assure you, this is only outside.” Inside, I am a constitutional democrat.
 “No, are you really upset?”
 - I drink a lot ... Do you want a beer?
 - Why are you drinking? she asked. What could I answer?
 “It's a secret,” I say, “a little secret ...”
 - Have you decided to work in the reserve?
 - That's it.
 “I understood right away.”
 “Do I look like a philologist?”
 - You were escorted by Mitrofanov. Extremely erudite Pushkinist. Do you know him well?
 “Good,” I say, “from the bad side ...
 - Like this?
 - Do not attach importance.
 - Read Gordin, Schegolev, Tsyavlovskaya ... Memoirs of Kern ... And some popular brochure about the dangers of alcohol.
 - You know, I read so much about the dangers of alcohol! I decided to quit forever ... read.
 - It’s impossible to talk with you ...
 The driver looked in our direction. Tourists sat down.
 Aurora finished eating ice cream, wiped her fingers.
 “In the summer,” she said, “they pay pretty well in the reserve.”
 Mitrofanov earns about two hundred rubles.
 “And that's two hundred rubles more than it costs.”
 - And you are also angry!
 “You will be evil,” I say. The driver honked twice ... "